Sfaturi și empatie/Povești de gravide.

Cât de empatici suntem. Sau poate cât de empatică sunt eu... Oare e bine?

De când sunt gravidă am trecut printr-un roller coaster de sentimente. Și nu, nu e clasicul "hormonii sunt de vină", probabil sunt și ei făptași, dar lumea din jur are o imensă pasiune de a-și proiecta asupra ta toate temerile și experiențele lor.

Atunci când ești gravidă dialogurile se rezumă la sfaturi. Care mai de care. Totul devine ceva de genul "Felicitări! Vezi că../știu pe cineva care.../ai grijă să..." sau "Ai pisică? Ce faci cu căinele? Cum, nu te măriți?" sau clasicul "Nu îți e frică?!?"

La început stăteam și ascultam și imi dau seama că au reușit...au reușit să stârnească în mine mini paranoi pe principiul "Auleu, dar dacă...."
Ah da, cel mai "bun sfat EVER" pe care îl primești: "pregătește-te pentru chinul ce va urma" / "o să fie un calvar" / "nu vei mai avea timp de nimic". Ok, nu neg...așa o să fie, dar nu e mai drăguț dacă, în loc să spui asta, în loc să proiectezi asta asupra mea, te-ai gândi măcar un pic să spui "Băi, cred că e cel mai minunat lucru pe care îl faci, sunt alături de tine!"
Adică, de parcă emoțiile mele nu ar fi de ajuns.

Am stat și am învârtit în cap de ceva vreme ceea ce am spus mai sus și mi-am dat seama de un lucru: "sfaturile" și poveștile cu teamă vin în procent de 95% de la doamne și domnișoare care încă nu au avut "the balls" să facă pasul, care se tem de această etapă a vieții, iar pentru ele este cel mai ușor să reacționeze proiectându-și teama lor asupra ta. Iar ca fraiera, empatizezi, deraiezi un pic și pe urmă te întorci pe calea ta, ascultându-ți inima și fiind conectată cu minunea care ți se întâmplă.

Iar asta îmi amintește ce bine au zis ei aici.. we are a culture of fear.


Și nu, nu mi-am dat pisica.
Si nu, nu renunț nici la câine. Hey, ei sunt primii mei copii....
Și nu, nu m-am grăbit (ca fata mare) la mărițiș. ...
Si nu, nu îmi e frică de nopți nedormite. Au existat și zile întregi nedormite în viața mea.. Boomtzi boomtzi.
Și nu, povestea lui X/Y/Z nu este a mea.

Dar da, emoții sunt.
Și da, încă mă uit la burta mea și mă blochez "Doamne, chiar e un copil acolo"
Și da, abia aștept să îi dau dragostea mea. Și să o primesc pe a lui.
Și da, e totul bine. Mereu.

Roxana

Gânduri

Mă întreb dacă tu mă asculți. Dacă mă asculți atunci când mintea mea debitează o mie și unul de idei, o mie și unul de noi sensuri.

Am zis mereu că totul e magic, că viața în sine e magie...dar sincer, se pare că nu știam nimic. Nu știam nimic mai până acum.

Ești fascinant. Tu ești magie. Poate sunt mai tontuță dar eu încă sunt uimită că "din nimic" deja ai ajuns un mini-om care mă "atacă". Și cel mai frumos mă ataci la sentiment :)
Cred că de acum încolo totul o să se lege de tine. Metaforic, că fizic deja m-ai prins...sau te-am prins. Îți explic eu cum stă cu biologia pe mai încolo.

Promit că am să te învăț și am să îți arăt lumea asta minunată a vieții. Și știu sigur că și tu la rândul tău mă vei învăța multe. Deja o faci. Mi-ar plăcea să inventez o mașină de scris care să îmi scrie găndurile, să nu uit cum poveștile prind contur.

Sunt fericită. Sunt fericită tare. Dar câteodată uit, iartă-mă. Uit și mă pierd în supărări cotidiene, dar când îmi amintesc de tine realizez că sunt nimicuri, că așa ne-am învățat noi, prost ce-i drept, să ne pierdem...să ne pierdem în prostii și să uităm să gasim fericirea în simplul fapt că suntem.

Îți mulțumesc, suflet drag, că ne-ai ales.

Mouse is in the house!

Băi, șoricel. Șoricei?

Hai că ești drăguț tare, de unde până unde codiță? De unde până unde 2? :)))

Voiam doar să îți zic că ești în grafic, mami. Cadoul perfect pt bunică-ta anul ăsta, să vezi!

Ești un chițăilă tare simpatic, cumințel și cu milă de mami. Ții cu ea! Abia aștept să te simt! :)

Să știi că te-am plimbat! În aceste 7-8 săptămâni ale tale, ai ajuns pe la Munich si Milano.
Ți-a plăcut, îți zic eu! Cum s-ar zice, nu ai avut nicio greață! <3

Nu sunt multe de zis... Cam atât din lumea asta externă, încerc să îți pregătesc terenul, dar ai karma bună, mă ajuți! :)
Am simțit eu asta ;) îți mulțumesc! Așa să fim mereu, echipă!

Te pup pe năsuc! Dacă îl ai acum......

Bobiță

Măi piticanie, aici sunt eu... :)

Nu sunt exact sigură cine, dar îți pot spune că e de bine. Cred că ești pe "mâini" bune. Cred că țin de cald.

Tu ce faci acolo? Ești ma'mic așa... 0.73 x 0.28cm. Ți-e bine? Ți-am dat-o cu vitamina C zilele astea, se schimbă sezonul și apar toți mucoșii.

Voiam doar să îți scriu, să nu zici peste ani de zile că te-am ignorat :)
Auzi, ma'micule, te pup. Că m-am blocat și nu știu ce să mai zic...

Iubire să fie! <3

Le Loop

Băi da, se întâmplă multe. La nivel personal, la nivel general, aici..în lume. Nu știu la ce categorie să încadrez ultima perioadă, dar uitasem că pe lângă "up" and "down" mai există și "looping" :)) Mai pe scurt momentul ăla nebun când ești și sus, și jos într-o fracțiune.
Mna, cam așa și acest weekend. Nu știam dacă să plâng sau să fiu tristă. Sau e OK că, dată fiind situația, deschid o sticlă de șampanie - să îi sărbătoresc viața lu' bunică-miu și noul meu job.
Am job. Nou. Interesant moment. Mă simt nouă - deschid capitole noi și închid capitole vechi care m-au călăuzit 27 de ani.

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Cu soarele înainte!
Roxana

Dar tu...ce mai faci?

Mno, m-am sucit...m-am învârtit, am scris...și pe urmă am șters. Am lăsat pe mai târziu, ca să ajung la acum.

Hello! Mă cheamă Roxana și beau o bere. Una mică, ca să pot să scriu liniștită aici. Doar știi cum e, "what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger"

Well, cam așa și cu mine în ultima vreme. În roller coaster-ul acesta nebun al vieții, nu știi niciodată unde și cum ești. Crezi că ești sus, și bang...dai la boboci. Pe urmă urmează "șpiț-ul în popou" și ka booom ...toată lumea este a ta.

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Mda, am închis magazinul. Și bine am făcut. M-am lămurit cu vârf și îndesat că a știi când să spui NU este cel mai prețios lucru. Trebuie să știi mereu ce vrei și ce nu. Eu am știut un lucru: am avut un vis, care a prins viață, dar ca oricare alt lucru....a fost trecător. Și l-am lăsat să plece când am simțit că este cazul.

Bun, bun. Acceptăm renunțarea la un vis, and then?! Păi la mine a urmat probabil cea mai scăpată de sub control vară - scăpată de sub control, în sensul că nu am stat locului în iulie și august. Ca să aterizez pe urmă în bula confuziei totale in septembrie.

Dar despre bula confuziei mileniale mă păstrez să vbesc mai târziu. Am început să scriu asta cu o bere lângă, acum îmi sorb cafeaua în dimineața de după. Am impresia că mai am de digerat un pic subiectul.

Hai să ne fie ziua bună!
Roxana

The fun-fair!

Another January, another fair...and boom!!! All sorts of ideas! :)
It's been quite a tough period at the shop, of course Christmas doesn't count, but before..and now after, I'm really asking myself what to do next.

Unfortunately, the Romanian market for selling house deco is not at its best. With complete sadness, I've seen that another shop in Bucharest decided to close and keep the online shop only. That's totally understandable, having a shop ain't easy. There are days, like today, when you pretty much sell nothing. And then you start asking all sorts of questions: maybe the address is not good, maybe I don't have the right products, and maybe baby...what if. And so on.

The roller coaster

When I started the shop I think I was way to deep in my bubble :) I just didn't know in what I was just launching myself, I had no clue how challenging this will turn up.

But here I am, in 2015. Been trying to write some resolutions for this year, and still planning to do. The end of the year was so eventful. I've learned my lesson... Since this roller coaster ride started, I've learned that from A to B are many loops and turns, and the situation is usually twisted. But always enjoying the ride. That's the only trick we must learn...to enjoy the ride. If your intention has been set, if you do everything straight from the heart, you just have to adapt..because things always come along nicely. We must have patience.

Running

Well, there are some moments in life, or at least in mine, when I need to run. Run away, that's it. From a situation, from a moment in life, from a place or from someone's life.  I do it. I did it recently, and while running was realising that I did it again. Was it good, was it bad? It is always good, because only good can be. There is always something calling you, something you have to learn, something you have to experience.

I've been running in and out most of my life, not one to stay still. But in this whole craziness of mine, I have discovered the best of me. And there is a looot more to discover. I feel this a lot lately. I feel a mixture of "I'm doing the right thing" & "I can do/be more". I know where I want to be, but I must give things time. ANd this whole time thing is the one that messes things up. We need timelines, but we don't like them, our vibe is not time related. You get the vibe, everything is perfect synchronicity and then *BANG* another "slow roller coaster" of vibes and feelings. You accept, get lost and accept again. You run, maybe. And then come back, differently.

So yes, in my super busy pre-Christmas time preparation, my timeline of things followed their own timelines. Nothing I could do to control, and I accepted that I had 2 options: freak out, respect the timeline or chill out, everything happens when it is supposed to happen. But then, in your chill out waiting vibe  you start thinking too much. You want things to happen. So, I ran.

What's cooking....princess?

Well, I must definitely create an "entrepreneurship" category on this blog! My dream that I will write about healthy recipes, alternative life style and similar stuff is put on pause a bit :))
My life at this point sums up to healthy take aways, crazy sleep hours and long working days. And you know what? I love it this way. Maybe this is what this should be all about.

Now that the Christmas is coming (yes, I know, I keep on repeating that since September) everything happens really quick. Last weekend me and my mom have been decorating the shop....for 3 days! And there are still stuff to do in here... It is never ending, honestly. I didn't even get the chance to put the products on the website, and now when I checked ...I realised that the Halloween banner is still up on the slide. Argh!

I love being busy with interesting stuff. And last week, besides my never ending Christmas plans, I helped my mom with a pitch for her events company. Well, the whole concept was amazing... All about the future. We created a hand made vortex tunel, 3D projections and super crazy lights show. I loved it.

Also, at TMT Finance (the job for which I went to Warsaw) I have an event in exactly 10days - TMT Finance World Congress. Luckily I'm not going to London this time. And I say luckily, because there's something BIG "cooking" in Clou's "kitchen"

Until everything comes all together, follow my instagram, you know what they say: a picture is worth a 1000 words (or something like that). So keep an eye there, and hopefully at one point my blog posts will be more often.

Lots of love,
Roxana

To sum it up.

In order to write well, you have to write what you know, and this is what i know: good things require time, beautiful things dont ask for attention. change is coming. the future is coming on. just long time magic. Șutul în cur si pasul înainte. must trust timing.

Le fantastic!

Oh my, what a week I had! I'm so happy to see that everything comes together after a looot of work.
One of this week's achievements is that I'm getting closer to the moment when I'm going to launch the English version of the website! Whoop, whoop!  :) I can finally ship to all of you! :D I really hope this will be on time for Christmas.

Speaking of Christmas, I know most you don't even started to think about it, but I honestly had enough already. This week I've been working with some of my fabulous friends and we organised a very nice photo shooting. I'm so grateful for working with such amazing people! I can't wait to share the results with you!!

Today is my mom's birthday, hooray! She is such a fantastic (crazy) woman.... I love her so much!

Wishing you all a super happy weekend...and until then here's a sneak peek from this week's photo shooting!

Equinox time

It's that mid point of the year again. That moment when the day equals the night, when in the Northern hemisphere the autumn starts to show it's colour and in the Southern hemisphere spring starts to bloom. Either way, it is a transition point...and we must make the most of it. It is the time to reflect on our life and to make plans for the future.

And this is exactly what I'm doing at this point. I realised late that today is the 22nd, which means the equinox. But whole day long I've been making plans and plans. And it's been such a wonderful productive day. I really do feel that times are changing and good things are coming. 

It feels like a transition moment now though. The shop is not busy, which from a sales point of view is not OK...rent goes on no matter what :(  But, I accept it, and I take care of other stuff which prepare Clou for the glory days that are about to come! I love transition times and most of all I love when I'm aware of them, no panic involved just good thoughts and lots of positive energy.

Today I'm really happy that I have managed to give the shop an autumn look and that I have done beautiful partnerships with wonderful Romanians for the "Made in Ro" section of my website (more to come!). And yes, soon...(won't promise how soon, because this whole technological process is above my understanding!) the website will be in English too! :D woohoo!!

And I got beautiful handmade jewellery from India!! And ... I have wonderful body creams and delicious bio cosmetics from a wonderful lady. 

Let's have a wonderful equinox, full of joy and love!

Big hug!

Roxana

Everything connects.

source

I never really knew what I was going to do, where I was heading and which direction. And honestly, I still don't know.

When I finished school and faced the "choose a University" moment, I didn't know either. All I knew was that I envied my colleagues who were soooo sure where they want to go to: law school, medical school and so on. They knew so well. All I knew was that I had to do it and finish it asap. 

So I initially thought that going to a "Marketing and PR" Uni is going to be the good thing for me - I was social, my mom had an advertising agency (which seemed fun) and I could develop my creative side. Well, my parents forced me to go to an economical school too. And I did. 

Of course I ended up finishing just one - the "Business Administration" Uni, the economical school. 

Then, I decided that I had to finish my masters degree quickly too. In Romania the master is 2 years long....too long for me. But in UK it's only 1 year - so that was my escape ticket. 

After finishing my masters I've found myself in the "wtf have I done?" crisis. Why did I do such a horrible thing?! Why economics, why business? Why have I learned so much crap?! I'm A CREATIVE PERSON!!! someone please help!!! ....so there I was...in the oh so discussed "post graduation crisis"...Then the white flag was spotted at the horizon and my shop was founded. With no design background, without any knowledge about the market - I did it.

Stuff and things and autumn.... blings!

Shame, shame, shame....But who's the one to blame?! It's been a week since I got back from Paris and just 10 minutes ago my full energy tapped me on the shoulder and was like "hey you, enough...!"

Paris was a wonderful-exhausting mix of inspiration and energies. The fair, which is not small (at all!!) was again the source of multiple shows of fireworks in my brain. As in....lots and lots of ideas.

When I hear someone saying "OMG, you are going to Paris, I envy you!", I simply feel like going crazy and slap them. :)) First of all, my dear friends, I do not like Paris. Just like that. It's dirty, the french from Paris are rude and oh yes, it smells like poop and pee all over the place. I like the architecture, the fact that it's Paris. But that's it. And secondly, the fair is next to the airport, next to the hotel. So no Paris, just fair.

A s.t.a.r.... to Paris!

Oh what a day! :) A wonderful, fascinating, gorgeous day! Last night it rained and I had such a good long sleep....perfect for the day that was coming.

I woke up with a wonderful news... I've been on TV! Well, I knew I was going to be as I have given a short interview last week, but I totally missed the news on the day. So here are my 30seconds of fame! I do look good on TV, right? And look at my shop!! <3 lovely.

Then, another good news popped in my inbox: My shop was approved on Tripadvisor. It needs some editing (add pics and stuff) but ... it's on! Check it out here.

And the most exciting part of today is that...I'm off to Paris!! yuhuu! Me & mom are going to Maison & Objet to get some super cool stuff for Christmas. I can't wait to see what's going to inspire us!



So, that being told, I do have all the rights to feel like "A star travelling to Paris for the Design Week". Well, 4 days!


Bisou!!!
Roxana

My creativity problem

Well, today I had a problem. A creativity problem. And I don't refer to a lack of creativity but more like a huge surplus. I woke up in a very bubble-ish mood...pretty much with my head up in the clouds. And I kinda stayed there all day long, and felt bombed with ideas. All sorts. Too many. Uncategorised. It's like now I was thinking of peonies, then of tomatoes.
It's a weird but good feeling, I just didn't know where to start today, so I didn't start at all.

I need the classic "sleep on it".

source

Roxana

This autumn I harvest happiness

I can't believe it's September already. I really don't understand time anymore. It feels like yesterday I was waiting for cherries and now I'm thinking of Christmas. Well, I'm the extreme kind of person I might say... But as soon as I know it's September I have to think a lot more in advance. I need to plan everything for the shop. And when I say in advance I mean it. I have ordered some of the Christmas products in January. I don't even know what I got anymore.

Chapter 2.a. Yoga Retreat & Sarmizegetusa

Day 1 & 2

The trip to Sarmizegetusa was long, but very nice. We left Bucharest around 2PM and reached the final destination (A pension in Orastioara de Jos) at around 9PM. Took us a lot, but we didn't hurry and we stopped in different places and of course we got lost a bit..... :) 

On Saturday morning we woke up with the sound of a tibetan bowl at 7AM. That was the best early rise ever, ah...that sound!!! We had a long yoga session, have discussed stuff and things and then me and 3 others went to visit Sarmizegetusa. 

When we got there, I couldn't believe my eyes.... That place is truly magical. It is sooo peaceful, like seriously I never felt what I felt there anywhere else. I can't describe in words. But peaceful it is very close to what I felt. The ground was shinning and glittering everywhere. Like seriously glittering with tiny sparkles, I thought I was hallucinating...but it was for real.

The thing I didn't like was that I wasn't allowed to sit anywhere on the grass around the temples, not even for 2min. Then we tried some yoga and we were told that "no other activities than visiting are allowed". Well, probably they have a reason. I can imagine they don't want people going for picnic or doing any "weird" kind of meditation or whatsoever they imagine.

Here are some pictures from the Yoga camp and Sarmizegetusa through my eyes: